Offended

How our hyper sensitivity hurts others

“Church hurt” is a new and evolving term used to describe how church people hurt one another, and perhaps how church culture has created an environment where personal offenses are accommodated.

There’s no doubt Christians, including pastors and other leaders, hurt one another. And in some cases the offenses are grievous and create deep wounds.

But I’m not sure that I believe in “church hurt” as much as I believe in “people hurt.” People hurt people, and use all kinds of justifications to do so. It began with Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, and so on. And pain hurts, particularly when it’s inflicted by people that we trust, and that should know better.

In our modern era, however, I’m also convinced that our pain threshold has narrowed. Too often, the average Joe or Jill Christian have turned “love your neighbor as yourself” into “love yourself, then your neighbor.” Preferring others over ourselves isn’t encouraged on the socials or in the courts.

In response to the trauma of our broken family, addictive tendencies, or religious baggage, we’ve made self the idol of our hearts.

As a result, we build relationships and navigate the challenges of those relationships with self at the center. Instead of the advance of the gospel, we see our interactions with others as a way to validate ourselves.

This becomes evident in how we relate to the server at the restaurant, the distracted driver on the interstate, and those who do greater harm to us at home, work, or church.

We’ve become easily offended, while justifying our quick trigger with words like justice, fairness, and honor. We’re not always wrong to be hurt, and our case may stand up in a court of law.

But the opportunity cost of our increasing “offendability” is the spiritual lostness of a generation. The more easily offended we are, the more we hurt other people who have no dog in the fight. Our pain is recoverable; theirs is not.

So, the next time someone drops the ball, speaks unkindly, or inflicts a legitimate wound, take it to the Lord. Ask Him for help and healing, and then consider if defending yourself is worth the distraction from fulfilling your calling to gospel work and witness.

“But I consider my life of no value to myself; my purpose is to finish my course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of God’s grace.” Acts 20:24

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