On Sunday, my pastor said, “Envy is the enemy of gratitude.”
Isn’t that the truth?!
Webster’s dictionary says that envy is “a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.”
Envy is not a new vice, but this is a new era filled with new challenges to contentment.
Here are three of those challenges that I face:
Leadership Culture
We live in what might be termed a “leadership culture,” where leadership development is promoted, gurus are platformed, and expectations for advancement are cast.
Every leaders should be growing and developing our leadership skills. But the dark side of leadership development is the constant reminder that we are not the leader we should be.
The gap between our current level of leadership and our potential leadership ability can sow seeds of discontent that erode our confidence and lead to destructive leadership decisions.
The Self-Improvement Culture
Like the leadership culture, the self-improvement culture encourages us to grow, develop, and become a better person. All wonderful aspirations. Diet and exercise, financial management, and work-life balance are all popular areas of emphasis.
Most of the books, videos, and ads make their appeal by showing us the ideal. The man with the six-pack abs. The woman with the “perfect” body. The successful business professional on his private jet.
The ideal is used to lure us away from our life of sloth and Blue Bell ice cream, and move us toward something better. The ideal also can remind us that we will never quite measure up.
The Social Media Culture
A lot of us spend too much time scrolling our social media feeds. We see what other people are doing, where they are vacationing, what they are eating, and where they are living. We see their friends, family, and their dog.
Some people say social media is just a façade because few people ever post negative things. The truth is, we don’t want to see negative things. It’s usually not appropriate to share negative things.
So, while we only see what people want us to see, what we see is real. And it’s very tempting to compare our best play list with the best play list of others. It’s that comparison game, as they call it, that can create envy, as well as a host of other not so good attitudes about ourselves and others.
How, then, can we nurture a heart of gratitude in a culture marked by comparison rather than contentment?
Perhaps these three practices will help.
Revel in the grace of God.
The phrase, “you are enough,” has been scrutinized, and in some cases, rightly so. The Bible tells us that we are sinners and that we are not enough. Jesus is our “propitiation,” the only One who was and is forever enough to redeem us and reconcile us to God.
On the other hand, “you are enough” in the sense that you must do nothing, you can do nothing to earn the love and favor of God. While you and I were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).
God placed his love on you, not because you are enough, but because he is a gracious God. And in doing so, he demonstrates that you must be nothing more than you are to enjoy his love forever.
The point is that your identity, your worth, is not based on your work, but upon God’s grace, which he has lavished on you.
Contentment, then, is not apathy. And it’s not laziness. Contentment is receiving and reveling in God’s unmerited and unmerit-able favor that says “because Jesus is enough, you are enough.”
Remember the goodness of God.
The Psalms are filled with words of thanksgiving, but the deepest gratitude is born from suffering. Here’s one excerpt from Psalm 118:
I called to the Lord in distress; the Lord answered me and put me in a spacious place. 6 The Lord is for me; I will not be afraid. What can a mere mortal do to me? 7 The Lord is my helper; therefore, I will look in triumph on those who hate me. Psalms 118:5-7
Just before this were words of thanksgiving. The entire psalm looks back on seasons of distress but through lenses of gratitude for the goodness of God.
This is where longevity comes into play. We only really know God’s goodness when we’ve suffered enough to experience his track record of faithfulness.
We are grateful for successes, but a heart of gratitude is most profoundly shaped in seasons of suffering. It is there we experience the intimacy God’s presence coupled with the perfections of his power to deliver us.
Return to the purpose of God.
You and I were not meant to do everything, to be what other people are, or to achieve anything that comes to our mind or is put in front of our eyes.
In his wisdom, God made us with distinctions and for a unique purpose.
The simplicity of this truth frees us to do the work God has given to us.
You can feel the freedom in these words of the apostle Paul:
Not that I have already reached the goal or am already perfect, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, 14 I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14
Perhaps the most important decision we can make to care for our own soul, to serve other people, and to join Jesus’ mission is to return to the unique purpose God created us to fulfill.
From this place of purpose, we develop contentment with the product of our hands. We learn to celebrate the victories of others with no shade of envy. We stop criticizing others. And we trust God to multiply our influence in whatever way advances the Gospel and glorifies him.
And by echoing Paul’s words, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain,” we also share in his contentment in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in (Phil. 4:11).
Picture of the Week
I had the honor of speaking to the Mt. Juliet Chamber of Commerce last week.
Businesses do not exist to sustain nonprofits. Nonprofits exist to help churches, businesses, and individuals do the good they want to do so everyone in the community thrives.
Recommended Resources
Book: Gentle and Lowly: The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers, Dane Ortlund
Podcast: Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast
Twitter Follow: Jared C. Wilson
Everyone’s Wilson
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We’re in the last 6 weeks of the year, which means it’s fundraising time. Over 25% of our budget receipts are given between now and December 31. It’s kind of crazy, but it’s a reality for many small businesses and nonprofits. And our sustainability depends on the investment of churches, businesses, and individuals.
All that to ask for you to pray for us. God is our provider, and unless he builds this, we all labor in vain. Second, I’d be honored if you would prayerfully consider including Everyone’s Wilson in your End of Year Giving. Check out our Give Now Page to begin.
Everyone’s Wilson is an outreach of The Everyone’s Welcome Network, a 501c3 charity organization. All gifts are tax-deductible.
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